The Arrival of Spring Means At Least One Thing: More Badminton!

That's right...Badminton.

If you have the space for it in your yard - preferably the back yard, so that you can perfect your skills in private and away from ongoing traffic - then I recommend carving out space for a badminton court. You don't need much. You'll spend about $30 for a decent net system, another $15 for rackets and shuttlecocks (sometimes called birdies), and maybe another $3 for some rope to make your lines. If you already have a length of rope, and if you visit something like Play It Again Sports for the equipment, then the price will drop even further. [Play It Again type gigs will sometimes have new equipment also, and at decent rates].

You'll be surprised at what you get out of your court. It's fun for many ages, including young children and older, less agile adults. It's fun for couples who compete, recreate together, or just flirt. And occasionally you'll score a sweet game with someone of equal or near-equal skills. This caliber of game not only increases the competition - for those "winners" out there - but also creeps the game (slowly) into a somewhat aerobic event. You may even sweat.

Now if you play someone who really knows what they're doing, first of all they probably won't tell you that they're amazing. They'll just whoop you shamelessly. At least this was my experience. I invited a college tennis player to play badminton with me in my backyard in Vancouver. He casually accepted, seriously playing down his talent. After the first couple of practice hits - which are always advisable before competing - I knew he was better than me. Then, after the first couple of points, I knew he was way better than me. He got up 5-0, and quickly. Then he was up 8-1. Then 15-3. For the next game, I made it my goal to win at least 8 points. It never happened.

If this happens to you - that is, if you suddenly realize that your opponent's skills far outweigh your own - then keep one thing in mind: angles. It's all about the angles. Didn't you see the Olympics? Specifically, the Chinese? It was totally an angle game. They hit it both hard and soft, but always with insane angles. Lesson: Work the angles, and, I suppose, watch the Chinese.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm just suggesting that you put up a court, and soon. You won't be disappointed.

One last thing: I like to cut the grass over the court an inch shorter than the rest of my yard. It adds both to the seriousness of the endeavor as well as to the aesthetics. I've included some dimensions below. Good luck and happy playing!

In Memory of R.B. Helmey

My name is Tyler Thigpen, and I am one of Pop’s (that is, RB’s) grandsons. Mom (that is, Nita) has given me permission to share a few family reflections about Pop under two conditions: that I what I say be #1 brief, and #2 not mushy. Pop, also, wanted it this way. To anything mushy, Pop would have most likely said, “Ahh, Fooey!” I have fully embraced Mom’s directive, and so I will gladly…get on with it.

Some advocate that labeling a person is usually unhelpful. More specifically, the use of nouns and adjectives to describe a person is often insufficient because people are more complex than a label suggests. And Pop certainly transcends any one label. But when, literally, the overwhelming majority of nouns and adjectives that you can think of to describe someone are positive, admirable…even heroic, then…well, perhaps that calls for mentioning them.

There is no denying, for example, that Pop was, what might be called, “the Giver of all nicknames.” Lollie, Tye, Joanie, Ran, Darlin’, Son, Honey... He liked to call my son “the Wizard.” Even for his own name, Randall rarely sufficed. But of all the nicknames he championed, no doubt the most southern, and the least creative, was Duff. Yet because Pop himself was the Giver, when spoken by others, with the sole exception of Mom, none of these nicknames carries the same meaning or sweetness.

Pop was also an avid sportsman. A devout hunter and fisherman. A huge baseball fan, especially of the Braves. Not just a water-skier, but a water-ski instructor. The captain of his own boat even. A scratch golfer…well, maybe an aspiring scratch golfer. And, quite the adventurous snow ski-er. There is a story that runs in our family of Pop at Winter Park, Colorado, straying from the smooth, straightforward path of a simple ski run, and instead boldly dashing into the woods…where he ran into a tree. As I understand it, for I wasn’t there, he was looking backwards…not forward…backwards…concerned, not surprisingly, about the safety of another of our family members.

As a young man, Pop was an ambitious dial-telephone installer, later a supervisor, and, later still, a successful plant manager. He was a truly remarkable boss. And how could a grandson know this, except that on more than one occasion did I meet people who once worked for Pop. And each of them intentionally pulled me aside to tell me, “I want to tell you that your grandfather is a good man, the best I have ever worked for, and one of the best I have ever met.”

Pop was a most able gardener. A piece of bread with mayonnaise, and one of Mom and Pop’s homegrown tomatoes still has never tasted better.

Furthermore, Pop was a guitarrista, a shrewd business person, and a Lewis Grizzard fan. Pop himself was an updated and opinionated political commentator, who could have filled his own weekly column had he been graced with the gift of writing. But Pop had more the gift of gab, and was a friend to every stranger he met.

For sure, one thing extremely important to Pop, was that he was a patriot. In fact, a distinguished army veteran who garnered throughout his service no fewer than 5 awards, including the Phillipine liberation award, the WW II victory award, the Meritorious Unit Award, the Asiatic-Pacific Theatre Award with two bronze stars, and the Good Conduct medal.

Pop was a preserver of family tradition. A benevolent head of his household. A caring uncle. A cherished brother. A wise, goofy, and generous grandfather, and a kind and funny great-grandfather, who saw the birth of 7 great grandchildren in the short span of 2 years and 8 months. A dearly loved father, absolutely adored by his children and their spouses. A beloved husband, partner, and best friend.

And in part because Pop descends from a long line of people who were willing to leave everything they had to practice their faith, including a young man from Salzburg called Nikolas Helmey, Pop too was a follower of Christ, a humble disciple who feared and followed God.

On behalf of the family, to Pastor Hardy I want to express our deepest gratitude for the care, the words, the words, and the prayers with which you have encouraged us…not just during this time, but since we have known you.

And on behalf of the family, I also want to say to Mom…in the most non-mushy way that I can…We love you, we support you, we think you’re amazing, and we’re with you.

Pop, you made us laugh. You made us better. You wrote the book on caring for one’s family. And…I believe…that you made us ready to live well when you were gone.

May we carry on the legacy of this man.

And so as to end on a non-mushy note, I have only this left to say…Ahh, Fooey!

Should Parents Be Totally Honest With Their Children?

For John and Abigail Adams, it was primarily the ability to understand books. For Vincent Van Gogh Sr., it was the ability to sell. For Joseph and Mary, it was the skill of working with wood. For my own father and mother, it was the ability to be flexible, to be optimistic, and to work hard. Parents mold their children according to their values, employing the best tools that they have available to them to raise their children according to their wishes. And these wishes most certainly vary. For some parents, the process of child-rearing is conscious and purposeful, while for others, there is little to no realization of causation, and only when the child reaches adulthood do some parents finally see their hand in it all. Even still, some do not see. In short, I will argue that parents should be honest with their children to the extent to which that honesty effectively helps to transform their children into the kinds of young adults that they have envisioned.

Is it possible to have trust without honesty? Are relationships meant to be built on trust? Is there even intent behind relationships themselves? In taking the viewpoint that I am espousing, I am no doubt defining honesty as more of a tool than an immutable virtue. From generation to generation, from continent to continent, from country to country, even from door to door, there exist differences in the goals of child-rearing. Should a child be raised to be wealthy? Erudite? Strong? Shrewd? Loving and selfless? Powerful? Even experts disagree with the end. The best parenting, like the best anything, is one pursuit, or journey, that humankind takes. For Chinese parents, largely as a result of Confuscionist teachings, an honorable young adult is of paramount importance. Western Canadian parents, generally-speaking, have in mind to raise law-abiding, tax paying, and pluralistic citizens, while eastern Canadian parents want hard working conservatives. Simply put, parents have different goals for their children.

And because parents have different goals, they will use whatever methods that they deem worthy to achieve these goals. According to David McCullough, John Adams, as mentioned above, employed languages and books to arrive at an intelligent, “renaissance man” kind of upbringing. My own father, along with his sister, was raised to entertain well-to-do guests at social gatherings in Atlanta, Georgia.

Personally, I will be completely honest with my children, because I believe not just that trust is the foundation of a relationship, but particularly that trust can only be achieved with complete honesty. Only I will add one qualification: honesty “in time.” Indeed, I do believe that ultimately, my children should know “the whole truth and nothing but the truth,” but I can foresee instances where withholding part of the truth will help me to achieve other goals that I have. Safety, for example. If I must withhold truth, or even lie, to keep them alive in certain extreme situation, I will most likely do that. But, generally speaking, by being completely honest about my failures and my accomplishments, I believe that I will teach them to learn from our mistakes, thus enabling my own children to think independently and, hopefully, to navigate wisely the many decisions they will face in life.

Of course, I think my viewpoint is most right and most efficacious, but not all will agree. For that reason, I have suggested that honesty is a tool that can be wielded by parents in the delicate process of raising their children to become the kinds of individuals that they hope for them to be. Finally, the reader will note that there has been little to no mention regarding the extent to which nature plays a role in a child’s development. This has been intentional since the focus is uniquely on the efforts of the parents, most of whom love and cherish their children deeply.